Twickham Tweer

Shed a tear for Twickham Tweer

who ate uncommon meals,

who often peeled bananas

and then only ate the peels,

who emptied jars of marmalade

and only ate the jars,

and only ate the wrappers

off of chocolate candy bars.

When Twickham cooked a chicken

he would only eat the bones,

he discarded scoops of ice cream

though he always ate the cones,

he’d boil a small potato

but he’d only eat the skin,

and pass up canned asparagus

to gobble down the tin.

He sometimes dined on apple cores

and bags of peanut shells,

on cottage cheese containers,

cellophane from caramels,

but Twickham Tweer passed on last year,

that odd and novel man,

when he fried an egg one morning

and then ate the frying pan.