Help Wanted

Santa needs new reindeer.

The first bunch has grown old.

Dasher has arthritis;

Comet hates the cold.

Prancer’s sick of staring

at Dancer’s big behind.

Cupid married Blitzen

and Donder lost his mind.

Dancer’s mad at Vixen

for stepping on his toes.

Vixen’s being thrown out—

she laughed at Rudolph’s nose.

If you are a reindeer

we hope you will apply.

There is just one tricky part:

You must know how to fly.